Sunday, April 23, 2006
just read a really moving, thought provoking piece by Eugene O'Kelly, ex-CEO of KPMG who died of brain cancer in 2003. go read it. it was in the straits times, sunday.
i was in my kitchen washing dishes (and killing the skin cells on my hand) and i came to realise that sometimes it is pretty sad for people to come to numerous conclusions when barely 20 years of their life has passed.
when mugging for exams, you conclude that life is freaking sad and you have no life. period.
when things dont go your way and everything just falls apart, you conclude that life is a bitch and totally unfair.
yet for some, like O'Kelly and the ex-rjc girl joan, they live out their last days of their lives trying to tie up loose ends and spending time with their family.
my point is that people are generally ungrateful creatures (me included) and generally unappreciative of life til they have experienced death.
for the past few weeks, i was making myself miserable to some extent by making conclusions about my life, the pple around me and the status quo in general. sure, life could be better if i didn't have all these problems and worries bugging me.
definitely, it is time for me to live my life and to be thankful for it, instead of gripping about it. to greater appreciate my friends and family, and to show this appreciation when i still can, instead of regretting it in the later part of my life.
all these thoughts were sparked off when i was talking to dan who seemed all so bitter and angry about everything. it is as if the world owes him something. it is kind of sad for a 21 year old guy to have so much bitterness in him. i can't understand it and i hope i don't become like that. usually pple are bitter because they can't resolve the bad experiences they've been thru.
i think that if i only had 1 month left to live, the only thing i would regret would be that i didn't spend enough time nor show enough concern for my parents and my aunts and my grandma. family's a big thing to me deep in my heart, yet i often appear aloof about family related stuff or when i'm talking to them. it's an asian thing i suppose, not to wear ur thoughts and feelings on ur sleeves.
these 20 years of my life has been pretty fulfilling, and i could have done some things differently, but that would have meant i wont have turned out the way i am now. not to say that i am the perfect model of a human being. but i am comfortable with who i am and i think that's real important. to accept who you are or to try to become a better person.
easier said than done of course. and as i am trying to work towards this aim, forgive me if i offend you. but pray tell me what you think of me. i.e. if u you know me well enough. i would hate for pple who don't know me to have a false impression of me. feedback is always welcome from close friends though cause i do value your opinions.
:)